Are you dating Mr. Maybe or Mr. Right? How do you know the difference between Mr. Right Now and Mr. Forever? How do you know that your man is The One? Today I will share three examples from my life and then offer up the magic formula.
When I was single, I always said that I would rather be alone than with someone who wasn’t right for me. When Carter and I met, I was completely jaded and blew him off. I even broke up with him two months after we started dating. His pursuit finally wore me down and I decided to get serious with him. Little did I know how much our lives would be turned upside down. Little did I know that the worst year of our lives would give us the magic formula and transform our relationship to where it is today.
Love Example #1
Let’s begin with the sweetest love story of all time. My parents. My Dad knew in the second grade that he was going to marry my Mother. They have been in each other’s lives for over 60 years and married for over 50 of those years. When my Mother was 25 years old, she found out she was pregnant with me. She also found out that she has Addison’s Disease, a “severe or total deficiency of the hormones made in the adrenal cortex, caused by its destruction.” She has had years where it’s been in remission and years where she is in and out of the hospital frequently. My Dad has stood by her all of those years, and loves her more every day.
Love Example #2
I was diagnosed with breast cancer on my 39th birthday. Carter proposed 48 hours later. We got married 10 days after my treatment ended. I was sick and bald on our wedding day. (that was a wig BTW). To say that our engagement year was hijacked is an understatement. It was one of the worst years of our lives. But looking back, it was the best year of our life together. We learned about unconditional love and support. We learned how to love each other during the most difficult of times. From that point on, everything is relative. Normal married couple fight? It’s got nothing on cancer.
Love Example #3
In 2015, I said goodbye to a childhood friend. My friend Garnet was diagnosed with brain cancer at the same time as I was diagnosed with breast cancer. He fought hard for four years before losing his courageous battle. He is survived by his wife Trish, and two young boys. Trish’s life was turned upside down not only having to take care of two children but also a terminal husband. Her poise and grace during those four years were inconceivable.
The Magic Formula Revealed
You know those marriage vows? The one that is about “in sickness and in health?” THAT is the magic formula. It’s easy to be in love. It’s easy to forget about life around you and be so engrossed in your significant other that nothing else matters. It’s easy to think that this euphoria will last forever. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones. But life isn’t always rainbows and puppy kisses. Sickness happens. Cancer happens. Ask yourself, “If this man was sick or diagnosed with cancer or terminal, would I stand by him unconditionally?” More importantly, ask yourself, “If I was sick or diagnosed with cancer or terminal, would he stand by me unconditionally?”
Don’t think it can’t happen to you. No one can predict the future. Take a hard and honest look at your relationship. Is he the man who will endure? Don’t live in your fantasy world and don’t think he will change. He’s either in it or he’s not. And if he’s not, walk away. Open your heart to the one who will stand by you through sickness and in health. He’s the one who is worth waiting for. He is the one you deserve.
Are you Inspired?
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