When the entire planet is honoring our Mother’s this week, there are many folks who hate Mother’s Day. Ok, hate may be too strong of a word – but have patience and follow me here and keep reading, and you will see what I mean. For the record, even though I lost my Mother, I enjoy Mother’s Day. This message is for those who are struggling.
When my Mother was 25 years old, with a new diagnosis of Addison’s Disease, and a new baby (me), her Mother passed away. Until the day she passed, she was not overly fond of Mother’s Day. Despite having a child, because she missed hers, and missed out on all of those years with her Mother.
When I became a Stepmother, I came into a home full of love and acceptance, but it’s also an awkward place to be on Mother’s Day.
I started to understand… and opened my eyes to everyone else around me…
To those who have lost a Mother, you will miss her that much more on Mother’s Day while everyone else is celebrating.
To those who have lost a child, there are no words to describe your pain.
To those who have miscarried, or have not been able to get pregnant, despite wanting nothing more in the world than to be a Mother.
To those who had an absent or abusive Mother growing up, you know that motherhood isn’t always like a Hallmark card.
To those who have a Mother still living, but through Alzheimer’s or another terminal illness, have already “lost” her.
To the adoptive Mothers, the Stepmothers, the Aunts, the Grandmothers, and all of the other surrogate Mothers who are raising or helping to raise a child who is not biologically theirs.
Do something special for yourself today because you deserve it.
If you have a loved one who falls into one of the above categories – let her know that you are thinking about her.
This is a very unconventional way to honor my Mother today, but she was the one who taught me fortitude and also taught me to show kindness to others.
This is my way of honoring her, and honoring those who feel left out or sad this Mother’s Day.
Happy Mother’s Day in Heaven to my Mother, and happy day to anyone who is reading this who could use a smile today.
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Love, hugs, and honoring all Mothers.
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Perfectly expressed to honor “My Mom” on Mothers day. I’m convinced you are Number One Daughter. Certain Mom will thank you but I wanted to show my appreciation as well.
Awwww…. Thanks Dad! If I’m #1 Daughter… don’t tell the others! 🙂 LYB, H.
Mother’s Day has been difficult for me as well in the past. I struggled with infertility and everyone else seemed to be able to have babies at the drop of a hat. I think too many people forget that it can be a very difficult holiday. Thanks for the reminder and for sharing!
Hi Elizabeth – Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for stopping by to say hello. Hugs, Holly
I’m not sure if you were aware of this but Step-mother’s day is unofficially celebrated by many families the Sunday after Mother’s Day. A separate celebration can help ease the loyalty bind many kids feel while still allowing them to recognize an awesome Step mom like you.
Hi Sarah my awesome ESM sister! I never knew this… very good to know. Our celebration will probably be small this year, but it’s always the thought that counts. Hugs, Holly
Watching you become a mother ( Step-Mom) has been a true joy. My feelings about Mother’s Day are now more happy because I can see how happy you are.
Hi Mom – Well I learned from the best! Roots and wings, right?!?! Happy Mother’s Day! LYB, H.
Thanks for this great post.
I have a sister-n-law who never married but was a school teacher for kindergartners, (she really has
touched the life of oddles of kids) but even so she doesn’t have her own, and she has
lost her Mom, so it is very hard for her on Mother’s day especially because of her MOM, so she has spent it celebrating with us on that day and I usually make or give her a card from all her animals that she is Mom to……she always seems to get a kick out of that.
Some of the other categories I never really thought about so thanks for making us aware……….
Hi Nellie – Thank you for sharing your sweet story and what a gift for you to be such an amazing sister-in-law to recognize this and do something special for her. Thank you for visiting and commenting. Hugs, Holly
After losing my Dad last year just about a week before Father’s Day, I know exactly what you mean. That day was so, so sad for me. I dread the loss of my Mother. I don’t know how I’ll go on. I love her so much. She and I will be celebrating Mother’s Day just the 2 of us this year. We plan to go shopping – our favorite extracurricular activity in the whole wide world! – and eat food that is bad for us. Sounds like a plan! I have one son who will likely give me a call and maybe a card if he remembers. You know how guys can be! My stepchildren will likely call. They lost their own mother a few years ago, so I know it’s painful for them.
You brought up a very good point. We should take care to give extra special love and attention to those who fall into the categories you mentioned. They may be hurting, and they need to know they’re not alone.
Great post, Holly! I wish you a wonderful Mother’s Day weekend filled with love!
Hi Alycia – Big hugs, my friend. It sounds like you have a wonderful day planned and I hope you enjoy and cherish every second of it. This post did a total 180 from what it was originally supposed to be, but sometimes the “unpleasant” or “unpopular” needs to be out there too, to remind us of others. Happy Mother’s Day to you and hugs, Holly
My friend, you are so sensitive to others. Thank you for helping me look at Mother’s Day with new eyes (and a more sensitive heart). I celebrate dear friends day with you on May 11.
Hi Susan – I definitely got my sensitivity from my Mother. I know it was a little unusual for a Mother’s Day post, but sometimes you need to flip the coin over to the other side. Happy Mother’s Day my dear friend. Hugs, Holly
Thanks for posting this, and thanks for writing it in a considerate, thoughtful way. Sensitivity to those whose situations makes Mother’s Day painful or awkward is important for all of us to remember.
Hi MFP – Thank you for giving me an opportunity to link up and share. When everyone else is celebrating, there will be those who are hurting and kind words are always appreciated. Hugs, Holly
Good Morning Holly,
Just saw your link on Krafty Cards etc. Your post is wonderful. My mom died tragically in April 2006. As Mothers’ Dap approaches, I think of her more often, just like on her birthday and at Christmas. She lived on the other side of the country, but she and I always kept in touch. We had the same sense of humor and laughed a lot! I think it was really important that I saw your post this morning. It helped me to remember that in spite of my loss, there are so many great memories to acknowledge. Thank you!
Hi Val – Thank you so much for sharing your story and sorry to hear about your loss. I hope and pray you are surrounded by peace and fond memories. Hugs, Holly
Hooray to you for pointing this out. You mentioned many difficulties women go through so thank you Holly.
Thank you for reminding everyone that Mother’s Day is not all happy-happy-joy-joy for many of us. I go through the motions but mostly–even though I’m happy for others–I am just glad when the day is over.
Hi Dr. Julie Ann – Sometimes when everyone else is doing the happy, and even if you are as well, it’s worth it to step back and be there for others who are hurting. Big hugs my friend. Holly
I hope you have a happy Mother’s Day. I am celebrating mine with my mom, something that doesn’t happen often.
Hi Mindie – Happy Mother’s Day to you my friend! I hope you enjoyed your day with your Mother and all of the special memories. Hugs, Holly
Well said. I think that most of us can relate in one of the ways you list or more. It’s a bitter sweet holidays. I can only hope that everyone has at least one person in their life to make them feel special. If they don’t, then, like you said, they should do something for themselves!!
Thanks for sharing!
Hi Bobbi – Thank you for your kind words and for sharing. Hugs, Holly
Thank you for writing this. I posted a similar piece on Friday because I am a stepmother, but not a biological mother. Although my stepdaughter and I are very close and I have had the benefit of being a “mother” to her, there is nothing like Mother’s Day to make one feel worthless to society for not having borne children.
Hi Lisa – I am blessed with a wonderful blended family. For me, it’s more of the awkwardness of the day, not being the bio but still helping to raise a child. Happy Mother’s Day to you my friend. Hugs, Holly
Thanks for sharing this, it’s very true, Mothers day is not the same for everyone. The first Mothers day after my mum died was very tough. My kids were trying to make it nice for me, which was lovely but I really spend the whole day hanging by a thread. To just make it a tiny bit worse, we have mothers day in the UK in March so there are 2 lots of Mothers day stuff everywhere to get through.
Lots of people seem to really understand though, I see facebook is full of messages to all inspiring women in my fb friends lives, not just biological mums. Thoughtful messages make a big difference.
Hi Julie – Thank you for sharing your story and so sorry about your Mum. I can only imagine it’s extra tough going through the day twice. Big hugs across the pond my friend. Holly
What a touching post! It made me think of how fortunate I am to still have my mother and to also have two beautiful girls. What blessings they are to me. Thank you.
I hope you can stop by to visit and maybe even sign up for my Favorite Color Swap:
Hi Colletta – Thank you for stopping by to share and for the invitation. Hugs, Holly
How cute your dad left a comment! 🙂 I am an adoptive momma (our 2nd is bio) but for 5 YEARS I did despise Mothers Day for myself but focused on honoring my own mother. Great read and it taught me to reach out to those who are still on their adoption/infertility journey. Thank you for sharing (and linking to our Friday link party.) XOXO
Hi Lolly Jane – Thank you for sharing your story, it’s a great reminder that we don’t all fit into the same mold. Hugs, Holly
I hate mother’s day. Thank you for this.
Hi Michal – Prayers and blessings to you. It was an out of character post to write, but I felt it necessary and hope it meant something to you. Hugs, Holly
Well done, Holly – I can attest to a few of those – great post! I do appreciate you sharing with Home and Garden Thursday,
Hi Kathy – Sometimes it’s the unpopular posts that need to be written. Big hugs my friend! Holly
In some respects, Holly, you are articulating the underside of every celebration. No matter how much everybody loves to celebrate, not everybody loves all occasions. I have a niece who is afraid of clowns. Some people hate their birthdays. There are people who hate Christmas for a number of reasons.
It is not for us to judge. Nor should we put aside our own celebrating. But we should be accepting and compassionate and give people space to feel sad or to just be alone if they feel the need to.
Hi David – Wow, I’m so honored to have you stop by to comment – I love celebrity spotting days!!! 😉 You completely hit the nail on the head… all holidays can be equally celebrated for some and difficult for others. Thank you again for stopping by to say hello and I hope to see you back soon! Hugs, Holly
Thank you Holly. I lost my mother when I was 19 and the hole was never filled in my heart till I had a family of my own. I still think of her every day and even feel closer to her now than before because now I know just how hard it is to be a mother. Thank you for reminding us that there are many women out there who deserve our love and respect. Happy Mother’s Day to you too.