I am selfish and I’m proud of it. Let me turn your world upside down and encourage you to be selfish too. I promise you, you won’t regret it!
The information provided on this website is not meant to be used, nor should it be used, to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease or medical condition. This information has NOT been evaluated by the FDA. This website is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of a physician. The reader should regularly consult their doctor in matters relating to his/her health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention. Full Disclosure Policy, Legal Clause, and Terms and Conditions – Click HERE.
Huh? Um, Holly, I thought you were all about putting goodness out there in the world? Now you are talking about being selfish? Have you lost your mind? (Seriously, friends, I know this is what you are thinking – don’t even try to hide it.)
Stay with me and hear me out.
As women, we typically find ourselves as caregivers. We care for our kids. We care for our spouse. We care for our parents. We care for our neighbors. We care for the members of our church. The list goes on and on. If something needs to be done, we step up to do it.
If you work outside of the home, you come home and continue to work and take care of your family.
Mamma does not get any rest.
If you go to that quiet place and look at yourself in the mirror, how many of you are happy? Really, truly, honestly happy? Are you happy with yourself and your life? Are you happy with your weight? Are you happy with your job? Are you happy with your marriage? Are you happy with your kids? Are you happy with the cleanliness of your house?
Beginning Now
The beginning of January is the time of year that we evaluate our lives, make empty promises called New Years Resolutions, and by January 12th, go back to the same ole rut we are used to.
This year, I challenge you to make a commitment to be selfish. Not in a narcissistic or hedonistic way, but in a mindful, healing, and self-caring way. I challenge you to focus on SELF to find that place of inner peace so that you have the space in your heart and home to give and love and live life like you want to.
You know what they train you to do if you are ever in an airplane accident? You put on your oxygen mask first and then take care of those around you. If you pass out, you are no good to anyone else. This analogy speaks volumes for our lives.
Do Not Compare
If you are like me and most people, we make the mistake of comparing our lives to what is out there on Facebook and Pinterest. If you haven’t already figured it out, the people’s lives that you see on social media is “fake.” Don’t try and compare yourself to your friends, your family, your neighbors, or anything you see online. Trust me when I say I know people who post the shiny happy photos of their families on Facebook and are having conversations behind closed doors about getting divorced. And I know way too many bloggers whose beautiful homes and food are all over Pinterest, yet are anything but “together” in real life.
It’s easy to put the best side of life out there on social media. Just remember that everyone has a real life behind all of the photoshopped perfection. It’s not about being envious or trying to compare.
This is about you and you only.
Just Stop
Take a moment to stop. Just stop and think. Think about your life and how you want it to look. Realistically. Write it down in your (bullet) journal.
And then start making baby changes to get there. Find a happy and obtainable place somewhere in the Goldilocks middle, and make it real for you to implement. Little daily changes to make your life better in the way you want it to be better.
How to Be Selfish 101
“I don’t have time in my schedule to do anything.” Got it. But make the time.
Today, I’m going to…
Today, I’m NOT going to…
What is your oxygen mask?
- Getting your nails done?
- Going for a massage?
- Practicing gratitude?
- Meditating?
- Going for a walk?
- Taking a yoga class or going to the gym?
- Asking Hubby or the kids to do the dishes?
- Taking a nap?
- Spending 30 minutes to read a good book?
- Saying “no” to anything that isn’t in alignment with your wellness plan?
- Writing in your Gratitude (bullet) Journal?
The goal is to put yourself in that place of peace where you have taken care of yourself first so that you have the bandwidth to give all of your best self to those you love.
I’m really looking forward to the upcoming year and sharing it with you. We are on this journey together. Let’s be selfish this year, and make it one of the best.
Are you Inspired? It’s time for more GRATITUDE!
Love, hugs, and it’s all about me… and you.
Even in retirement, your M &D are with you. 2015 sounding good already.
L&S
Hi Dad – Cheers to a healthy and wonderful 2015!!! LYB, H.
Sounds perfect Holly! laura
Hi Laura – Sometimes you have to go through the muck to put it all into perspective. Happy 2015 to you! Hugs, Holly
Can’t wait to see what you share each Monday, Holly. You inspire me with your energy, kindness and wisdom. My secret to happiness is to focus on joy and not happiness. Happiness is determined by factors outside of my control. Joy is determined by my attitude and focus. I choose joy and that’s what I wish for you in the new year.
Hi Susan – Thank you for your kind words, and timeless wisdom. It’s so easy to get caught up in being reactionary, and lose focus of what you yourself can control. Wishing you JOY and LOVE and all of the HAPPINES too for 2015! Hugs, Holly
I just found your blog, and this post is the reason I’m adding it to my RSS feed to check regularly. I live with multiple chronic illnesses, and learning to be selfish — as in, to take care of myself, to make sure my own needs are met before I try to help others meet theirs — has been the hardest part of that journey by far. But it’s also the part that has kept me alive and in decent enough health for life to be worth living. I think we all deserve to be a little more selfish sometimes!
Hi Alison – Well I’m so glad to have you here, but sorry to hear about your chronic illness. When I went through breast cancer, it taught me a lot about priorities in life, and how it’s ok to change your perspective and outlook. Even four years out, I still struggle daily with fatigue and exhaustion. Blessings to you for a healthy and wonderful 2015! Hugs, Holly
I love this and I really need this today! I actually am also using the same idea this year to focus my efforts on me and making myself better so I can in turn help in making the lives around me better. Thanks for the inspiration and for sharing your goals and aspirations for this new year!
Hi Michelle – It’s so easy to focus on everything and everyone else, and so glad to hear that you will be taking the time to focus on you. Happy 2015 to you! Hugs, Holly
It looks like I can look forward to another year of amazing posts and inspiration from one of my favorite bloggers. I can’t wait to see what you discover about yourself this year and to experience the growth that will certainly come from taking this journey with you. Happy New Year!
Hi Corinne – Thank you for your kind words and look forward to continuing this journey together! Happy 2015! Hugs, Holly
Amen to that! I’m with you all the way!
Have a happy and selfish New Year 🙂
Hugs,
Mila
Hi Mila – Love that you are on board too! Happy 2015 to you! Hugs, Holly
I think that being selfish has a bad rap. I think we should all do what we can to take care of ourselves and be real with ourselves and others. I look forward to seeing what you are up to in 2015
Hi Cynthia – You are so right, and being selfish can really be a good thing! Happy 2015 to you and all the best for good health and happiness! Hugs, Holly
It’s so important to look after ourselves so we have the resources for everything else, we really should be better at it.
Hi Stella – You are right on, and easy to forget to take care of ourselves! Thanks for stopping by and hope to see you again! Hugs, Holly
JUST SENT THIS PAGE TO MY FRIEND, MARY WHO HAS RECENTLY BEEN THROUGH SURGERY FOR BREAST AND LYMPH NODE CANCER…I HOPE SHE WAS NOT OFFENDED AND SEES THIS AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXPLORE OUTSIDE OF HER HOMETOWN TO SEE WHAT ELSE GOD HAS FOR HER…SHE JUST TEXT ME AND SAYS SHE IS A NEW “BLOGEE” OF YOURS…GOOD NEWS COME FROM UNKNOWN SOURCES SOME DAYS…THANKS, I NEED TO BE INSPIRED TO BEGIN MY OWN SELFISH DESIRES TO WRITE…WRITE AND WRITE SOME OF MY STORIES..KATHRYN
Hi Kathryn – Thank you so much for stopping by to share and my prayers are with your friend. Life is inspiration, it’s just a matter of perspective and how you view it, right? Hope to see you again soon. Hugs, Holly
Such great words of wisdom: self care is NOT selfish <3
Hi Hannah – Thank you so much and AMEN my friend! Happy, healthy new year to you. Hugs, Holly
<3 same to you!
I agree 100%. There’s good selfish and bad selfish. My personal resolution is to cut out those voluntary things that don’t bring me joy and make me feel crazed, affecting those around me. Visiting from Make It Pretty Monday party.
LOVE! AMEN my friend! Hugs, Holly
Loved this post! and definitely something I have set for 2017 resolutions before reading, and its so enlightening to see others doing and inspiring others to do the same.
I just read the Happiness Project and although I’m not going to do it exactly how the author did her project I have set to make 2017 a project of building me. Through self love and doing the things that bring me JOY. I am setting to embrace and SHARE my imperfections so people know they aren’t crazy, alone, or incapable of more in life because of a flaw they feel defines them. Cheers to growth and a wonderful 2017 to us all!
Hi Caroline – Thank you so much for stopping by to share! How wonderful that you are focusing on self care and self love and joy and happiness. Something everyone needs to do! Hope to see you again soon. Have a wonderful 2017! Hugs, Holly
So true…easy to forget about putting yourself first. Thanks for the reminder!
Hi Minh – Happy happy 2017 to you! Hugs, Holly
This is really wise advice that we could all benefit from. Thanks for sharing at Funtastic Friday!
Thank you for your kind words! Hugs, Holly
I struggled with this quite a bit last year. I would feel guilty for wanting to have someone watch the baby while I went out & spent time with myself or friends. Now, it’s much easier for me to take the time that I need b/c I can’t pour from an empty cup.
Hi Rashida – You are so right – you can’t pour from an empty cup! Self care is so important, especially with a little one to take care of. Thanks for stopping by and I hope to see you again soon. Hugs, Holly