Our summer project at the Homestead seemed simple enough, but it became a lesson in how to purge like a reformed hoarder. Not only did I use my project management skills to conquer a messy situation; I also had a chance to meet Matt Paxton himself (from the TV show Hoarders) and gain some brilliant insights into the minds of real-life hoarders. Here’s how you can too!
The goal was to switch Hubby’s office and Stepson’s playroom and turn Stepson’s playroom into a tween/teen room. In theory, it sounded easy enough. In reality… well… it became a lesson in organizing and purging because organizing two rooms turned into two rooms plus three closets plus the utility space in the laundry room. I used the concept of a Venn diagram to determine what to keep and what to toss/donate.
It’s hard to part with items, whether they are ordinary items you may need someday or sentimental items you have an emotional attachment to. How do you decide what to keep and what to toss? (Note – by “toss” I mean trash, donate, sell, recycle, etc.) You can use this Venn diagram to determine what is most important to you, and then find the overlap for each item. It’s not an exact science, but if you take the emotion out of the equation and think about purging more cerebrally, then it should make the process easier.
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Every Day Items
Ask yourself these questions:
1. How often do I use this item? Will I really need it in the future?
2. How much is the cost replacement and how easy is it to replace the item?
3. What is the value of the item?
This is my Achilles’ heel because I hate to be wasteful. I will give you four examples. For these examples, I weighed what is most important – use/need over cost over value. Is space or money more important? Or does it depend on the item?
Example 1 – A small, unopened bag of white craft pom poms. Why should I toss them when I might need them someday for an unknown craft or school project? Is it more important to “waste” $0.99 or “waste” space? I can’t think of anything specific in the next year where I will need craft pom poms. If I do, the craft store is one mile away, and a bag costs $0.99. And I always have cotton balls on hand if there is an emergency need for white craft pom poms. Toss.
Example 2 – A bag of random cables and cords. The bag has not been touched since we moved three years ago. At this point, do we really need them? Maybe? Probably not. Toss.
Example 3 – Two rogue Command hooks. Are they worth keeping? While they can easily be tossed and replaced, we do use Command hooks periodically throughout the year for various reasons. Keep.
Example 4 – Paint Cans. The majority of the painting in the Homestead is complete. Paint cans take up a lot of space, and the longer you keep them, the greater the probability the paint will go bad. I transitioned the paint to those small, sample size jars, and labeled with the paint color title and code. We have a small amount of paint for touch-ups (and let’s get real here – how many of us really do paint touch-ups?). The remainder of the paint we recycled if it was old (it shouldn’t be thrown away in the regular trash) and gave the remaining good paint to a friend.
I do consider myself fairly organized, and I have a large box labeled, “Bits and Pieces” which is the catch-all for those random bits and pieces that never have a real home. It’s great for smaller items, but it can’t be the catch-all for everything in the house because then it perpetuates the clutter. The two rogue Command hooks are now in the Bits and Pieces box.
This is all well and good, but what about when the items you need to purge contain a sentimental or emotional value? What about the items that you can’t put a price on? The same concept applies.
Sentimental Items
Sentimental items take on a more emotional attachment, but the process is still the same:
1. How often do I use or enjoy this item? Will I really need it in the future?
2. How much is the cost replacement?
3. What is the value/sentiment of the item?
I’m all about being sentimental. But sometimes, you have to let go. Does the item itself contain the memory, or does it remind you in general of the person or event? Can you repurpose the sentimental item into something else that will maintain the emotion but not take up as much space? Make a plan that works for you. For smaller items, find or make a nice memory box and use that space to control the amount you keep. If you inherit a lot of items from a departed loved one, keep 10% of the items that mean the most to you, and sell or donate the rest. If you have a lot of school papers from your child, keep several of their best work and toss the rest. Do you need all of those CDs or DVDs from your youth? Or can you enjoy your favorite songs or movies on iTunes or Netflix?
Stepson is growing up and transitioning out of playing with his toys. He is not ready to part with them, but he wants more space for him and his friends to hang out. The solution – we boxed up his toys in several large containers and placed them on a high shelf. They are accessible if he needs them, and are ready to be donated when he’s ready to part with them.
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Lessons from the Hoarder Whisperer Himself
I had a chance to meet Matt Paxton from the TV show Hoarders and Co-Founder of Legacy Navigator, and gain some wisdom from him about real life hoarders. BTW – he is absolutely hilarious and totally down to earth and super cool to hang out with!
According to Paxton, the majority of hoarding situations are brought on by some kind of trauma. “It has nothing to do with the stuff, and everything to do with the emotions.” This year alone, there are an estimated 16 million people who are hoarders, which is about 5% of America. When asked what is the difference between collecting and hoarding, Paxton explains, “Collecting is something you do with your family. Hoarding is when your collection IS your family.”
Celebrate Your Success!
If you took the time to clean up a space, don’t forget to celebrate your successes! Diffuse some Harmony and Joy Essential Oils and find a comfy chair to read The Secret Lives of Hoarders by Matt Paxton or The Hoarder in You by Dr. Robin Zasio from the TV show Hoarders.
Everyone’s pain point is different, but these general guidelines and examples can be applied to any situation. Would any of these processes work for you?
Are you Inspired?
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Love, hugs, and organizing one trash bag at a time.
Great reminders.
One thing I have done is take pictures of meaningful objects. Sometimes a picture of an old toy that the kid has outgrown is great for memories, but then you don’t have to store the toy.
Hi Julie – What a great idea! Thanks so much for stopping by. Hugs, Holly
I’m am the opposite of a hoarder. I LOVE purging and throwing things out, sometimes a little too much. My husband has a desk and an area in the basement where he keeps his things that I’m not to purge but other than that my house is very minimalist. If it doesn’t serve a purpose, I don’t want it. I go with the theory more stuff = more cleaning and who wants to do more cleaning?
Hi Al – Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing! I love your mindset – something we can all learn from. Hugs, Holly
I’m not one to keep very much. When we first built our house, my mother in-law was concerned because we didn’t have much closet/storage space. I told her that was so I wouldn’t keep very much. I have to admit, I wish I had just one small area to keep seasonal stuff in. I like to trade out house decorating stuff with the seasons and could use a little more space for that. Then again, I might keep more than I should if I had the extra space.
Hi Jayne – That is the one thing we are missing and that is appropriate space for seasonal items. One can wish… Thanks for stopping by and sharing. Hugs, Holly
Hello my name is Barbara and I may be a hoarder.
I call it collecting. But after reading this I now have a tool to use when I rummage through the stuff I have collected. But today I got some really good news. My step daughter is moving into her first apt. And do to some great collecting I have most of the furniture she’ll need. I’m glad I didnt use the theory buy something get rid of something.
But I will still hit estate sales this weekend ’cause you’ll never know what I might find, I mean what she needs.
Barbara Ann
http://Www.etsy.com/shop/barbaraannscreations
Hi Barbara – You are too funny, thank you for sharing! And best wishes to your step daughter! Hugs, Holly
I’d keep the pom poms! But I’m a homeschool mom, so we tend to have too many craft supplies. 🙂 I fall more toward the “horder” side, and dh falls more toward the “tosser” side. Keeps me on my toes.
Hi Shecki – Hopefully you can find a happy compromise and keep each other balanced. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs, Holly
I love how you address this emotional topic so practically. Like you, we box items up if we’re unsure of whether we’re ready to get rid of them. After a few months then we reevaluate and find it’s easier to make a decision then.
Hi Susan – You are the organizing queen, so it’s great to know you box items up to give it some time to settle before “tossing.” Thank you for sharing! Hugs, Holly
Great post! We are in the process of {slowly} cleaning out the clutter and re-organizing what is left. It’s a lot harder than I thought it would be. But I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulder when an area is finished. I really like your bits n’ pieces box idea. I might have to borrow that!
Hi Michelle – Isn’t that moment great when you have the area exactly like you want it, before it gets messed up again… you can just stare at it as the heavens open up and angels sing! Hugs, Holly
Deciding what to keep and what to toss is sometimes a hard decision! I do enjoy a good decluttering session though! Thanks for linking up with Motivational Monday 🙂
Thanks so much for stopping by! I love decluttering – it’s great therapy! Hugs, Holly
I WISH I were a purger! I have stuff in boxes from clear back in Jr. High!! Lately, I have been thinking of just getting rid of everything. You have inspired me to really get working on that!
Hi Charlee Anne – Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing! Hope to see you again. Hugs, Holly
What a great post. I have a hard time getting rid of things. The flood in our basement forced me to get rid of a lot of things even if I was not ready to. This is a great list and I will refer to it when purging my office!
Hi Cynthia – The purging process is difficult under “good” circumstances, I can only imaging how much more difficult it is when you are forced to. Thank you for sharing your story. Hugs, Holly
You have some great tips here… I’m moving next week, and this will definitely help me prioritize and purge before moving! Visiting from Organized31 link party.
Hi Aimee – Good luck with the move! Hugs, Holly
I am a big time hoarder!! More for sentimental reasons than anything else. Thanks to my husband’s job, we have been relocating several times in the last 5 years. Every relocation meant sorting and tossing and hence, unintentional de-cluttering.
Hi Tanya – Sometimes a blessing in disguise, isn’t it? Thanks for stopping by! Hugs, Holly
I purged so much stuff the last time I moved. There is nothing like moving to get you motivated to do that! Thanks for sharing with Hump Day Happenings.
Hi Jenna – I completely agree. It always seems the accumulation is greater than the purging. Hugs, Holly
Great tips. I have gotten much better at this. I however have lots of kids toys, my arts and crafts materials and teaching materials that I have a hard time parting with. Well toys are needed with a 3 and 1 year old. My husband has gotten a tiny bit better but he has a lot of things to go through and get rid of. For him it is the act of doing it not the getting rid of. I think it is a man thing. Great tips.
Hi Amie Jo – Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing! I always love to see how it works in other families. Hugs, Holly
Good thought process. I am terrible about throwing things away because I always have that internal monologue of “Well I might need this someday if…” I HAVE to stop listening to that voice. So thanks for getting me into the mindset fo purse this mess. I actually want to start organizing a few spaces next week, so this came at the perfect time. Thanks for posting!
Hi Lauren – My weakness is definitely the “I don’t want to be wasteful I may need it some day” more so than the sentimental value. It’s really hard to overcome. Thank you for stopping by to share your story! Hugs, Holly
I go into giddy purging madness, and then I regret some of the tosses later. I still haven’t found a good balance. Thank you for sharing. Hello from Turn It Up Tuesday.
Hi Melissa – I’ve done that too. Yep, been there, done that, tossed a shirt I wish I hadn’t! Thanks for stopping by. Hugs, Holly
I’m a hoarder trying to be a better purger. A few months ago I did a huge purge of “junk” and organizing. I still have so much more to take care of. I’ve created too many bits and pieces boxes. I found some really great stuff that had been lost when I was purging before. I need to get motivated again. 🙂
Hi Katharine – Good luck with the motivation and I hope some of these ideas helped! Hugs, Holly
I am in constant purge mode… and I haven’t been buying new stuff! Frightening! LOL
Hi Elle – I am impressed – you are an inspiration for all of us! Hugs, Holly
Thanks for sharing Holly! You are one of the fan favorites at the Sunday Showcase. Here is the link so you can check out your feature. http://www.thededicatedhouse.com/2014/07/sunday-showcase-from-make-it-pretty_20.html Hope to see you again at the bash! Toodles, Kathryn @TheDedicatedHouse
Hi Kathryn – I am over the moon giddy to be a fan favorite! Thank you so much for the feature! Hugs, Holly
Holly, great tips! I’m definitely a purger! Sometimes I wish I had more hoarding qualities though. I throw things out so quickly, but I’ll miss not having them later on! Is there a middle ground, because I sure haven’t found it!
Thanks for sharing at the NEW #PinFest!
Hi Chelsea – My newest friend!!! It’s hard to find a middle ground and hopefully the Venn can help move those circles to the right balance. Hugs, Holly
Hi Holly-This blog title caught my attention! Can’t wait for the big reveal too! This is a Friday Favorites Feature at http::/imnotatrophywife.com this Friday. Party goes live on Thursday night. Would love for you to link up something. And, I would LOVE a social media shout out to get this party growing! xo, laura
Hi Laura – Thank you so much for the feature I am so excited and honored! Always glad to be a part of your parties. Hugs, Holly
Im definitely both! But when I get in my tossing moods and deep cleaning everything goes! Thanks for sharing at the Happiness is Homemade, your being featured on Sunday.
Hi M.O.D. – Thanks so much for the feature – I’m completely honored! Hugs, Holly
My goal is to get my craft/guest room in order and organize my girls room for back to school. She loves to hang onto things. lol This post is going to help me. Dropping by from a hop stop by anytime.
Hi Theresa – Good luck with the clean up! We’re still putting the rooms back together and organizing for back to school. Hugs, Holly
This is fantastic! The title puled me in right away! I would love to have you link it up to my Feature Friday Link Palooza!
Danielle @ Blissful & Domestic
http://www.blissfulanddomestic.com/search/label/Feature%20Friday%20Linky%20Party
Oh and if you want to be a guest on my blog, I’d love to have you. Posts like these are catnip to my readers. They love how inspiring it is:)
Hi Danielle – Thanks for stopping by and especially for the invite – I stopped over earlier today to join the party. Hugs, Holly
I too am a breast cancer survivor- almost finished with treatment! I’m so glad I found your blog, and I look forward to sharing with you!
Hi Marianne – So glad you stopped by and glad you are almost finished treatment. Hope to see you soon and let me know how you are doing. I pray for good health and blessings for you. Hugs, Holly
After having lived in our apartment going on six years now, I am definitely becoming a purger and no longer a hoarder. Hubby? Not so much. He still brings home all kinds of strange stuff and keeps bits and bobs of stuff that he “might” need some day. Drives me crazy, but I’m slowly wearing off on him (after 20 years of marriage lol) and he’s been purging his spaces every couple of months and getting rid of stuff to make room for more stuff that he can look at for a few months and then get rid of when he realizes he’s never going to use it!
I’m sick of dusting around all the clutter in our house – so purging I have gone and I’m working on getting rid of the items that are purely decorational and don’t serve a real purpose other than to “look pretty.” If I can find functionality and decorative purpose in an item, it stays. If not, off to the Goodwill it goes!
Hi Kim – Isn’t that feeling so cathartic to be able to make a decision to keep or purge without all of the emotional baggage attached to it? Thanks so much for sharing! Hugs, Holly
Hi Holly
This is the best article I’ve read on purging stuff (this is a new word to me). I like the 3 questions to ask when considering whether to keep or throw out. This makes making decisions so much clearer I wonder why I never thought of it before. As a rule I look through all the stuff accumulated and if I have not used it for the last 6 months to a year I probably won’t need it again. But sometimes I get over enthusiastic and throw out stuff that I later feel I should have kept. Now the 3 Questions will really help me decide. Thank you !
Hi Lim May – Your comments are so sweet, thank you so much. I love the concept of the circles, because they can be adjusted for any situation. Glad it helped! Hope to see you again soon. Hugs, Holly
Hi Holly, my name is actually May Chin. Lim is my surname. I know we Asians write our names differently and sometimes all 3 parts of our name sounds like a surname! 🙂
Hi May Chin – I am so sorry I got your name wrong. I try and respond to every person… personally… so I do apologize. I grew up “in the country” and it was very common to combine first and middle names all into one name with one sound so Holly Jo was pronounced Hollajo by everyone who knew me. My city friends can’t get it right. 😉 Thanks again for stopping by! Hugs, Holly
Hello, my name is also Holly & I am a hoarder haha the things you purged, I would end up keeping but I’m working on it. Have been for years. It’s hard to change habits. My house currently has heaps of boxes & bags of stuff to sell, rehome etc as I’m also stingy & can’t stand not making a dollar or 2 out of stuff that may be someone else’s treasure haha. Oh the joy of it all. Pinning this for a reminder to let it go 😉
Hello my dear Holly sister! It is hard to change habits. It really is. I was out running yesterday and was eyeing up the neighbor’s trash thinking about a cool DIY project I could make from it. Step away… step away! thanks for stopping by! Hugs, Holly
It is so true what they say about someone’s trash is someone else’s treasure… but we don’t have time to repurpose everything 😉
Hi Holly!
Great article, thank you for taking the time to make this available to all of us. ^_^
My hubby and I are in the planning stages of building our own tiny home…around 600 sq. ft. SO…I am in full-blown PURGE mode! lol I am usually pretty good at opening my hands to bless someone else with stuff I am no longer really using.
That being said, your article and diagram will be my “Cavalry” should I get stuck in the tough spot of, can’t take it but really want it.
Blessings to you!
Cricket <3
Hi Cricket – Thank you so much for stopping by and sharing! There is something so zen about purging. Good luck with your project and hope to see you back again soon. Hugs, Holly
We are currently cleaning, purging, & redoing our bathroom all at the same time! One way I have cut down on some clutter is by taking a picture of all of my kids school work and projects throughout the year. If it’s a special handmade item or something that means a great deal to them then it is preserved & kept. I take pictures of just about everything and am going to put together all the photo’s in a book (Walgreen’s, Costco, etc.) & each book will be all about their school year. By utilizing online services I can begin to download the photo’s as I go, but don’t have to actually make the book until the end of the year! We were inundated with so much paperwork that it was literally impossible to keep up with! By doing these annual books it gives them the memories of all their hard work, projects, parties, classmates, & teacher they had for the year. Now all I have to do is put this great idea into motion & start getting them done! These are great ideas Holly & I searched for a couple of hours before coming to your board & reading your suggestions. I’m even printing them off to have them right in front of me as I go along so I’m proceeding along instead of stalling out with distractions. Thank you for the information & giving true practical info I need!
Hi Vanessa – Thank you so much for stopping by to say hello! I love your ideas about taking pictures and putting them into a book, thank you for sharing! Good luck on your project and I hope to see you again soon! Hugs, Holly
This is wonderful information especially because I am a clutter free person. Though the sentimental things get me sometimes. Thanks for posting.
Hi Kim – I live in this world where clutter free is ideal… but then there is the reality of keeping up with everything. Thanks so much for stopping by to share and I hope to see you again soon. Hugs, Holly
Some good tips here, when we are moving families to new properties we try to get them to do a bit of a clear out at the same time. We have actually had clients who are hoarders though which makes suggestions very difficult!
Hi Ivor – Thank you so much for stopping by to share. We are heading over to one of our properties this weekend to do some epic cleaning as well! Cheers, Holly
I have for many many years now preferred more of a stream lined (but NOT minimalist) look to my home as opposed to a boatload of knickknacks.
That said… after mom died a few years ago, plus 3-4 health scares with dad since then, I now find myself looking around their house and feeling completely overwhelmed by the magnitude of what 60 years of living in the same house and not purging for at least 30 of them and instead adding to it with garage sale finds… looks like. One day my siblings and I (read my SISTER and I!) will be forced to deal with all that and we are NOT looking forward to it.
Each time I come home from an extended stay with dad, I not only heave a sigh of relief, but this last time it really put me in the mood to start purging my own closets, cupboards and spare room to save my own kids from the same overwhelming fate my sister and I are all too soon to face. And while the Scotch in me would love to make a little moola on my purges, I’ve instead Freecycled most things such as old electronics and clothing (I would much rather give someone in need a jacket or pair of jeans for their kids, rather than have them have to pay for the same at Goodwill). My big Achilles heel? Books, magazines I haven’t had the time to read “yet”, paper work (finally filed! yippee!) and several boxes of RECEIPTS (just how long do I REALLY need to keep medical receipts “in case I get audited”, humm?).
Hi Annie – Thank you for taking the time to stop by and share. My parents had to go through a lot of their unpurged items before moving into a retirement home. But now, several years after the fact, Hubby and I opened up an eBay store and are wishing we would have kept some of the more vintage and collectible items to sell. At the time, we had less than zero space to store everything, so it was definitely the right decision to make at the time to let them donate or toss most of their treasures. Good luck with your own purge and I hope to see you back here again soon. Hugs, Holly
Hello. My name is Ashley and I just might be a hoarder too! Love these tips!
Hi Ashley – Welcome to the club! Hugs, Holly
Great article! My main nemesis is piles of papers. I just can’t seem to keep on top of them. Then one day, I had a sick kid yak all over a pile by the bedside. It’s amazing how the prospect of cleaning up vomit suddenly makes almost anything less valuable. Now I always ask myself if I’d dig through spew to save it.
Hi Maleah – I absolutely LOVE your advice! I have a stack of papers I need to go through right now, and will definitely use that philosophy… wonder if it will work on the bills too!!! Thanks so much for stopping by to share and I hope to see you again soon. Hugs, Holly
Your “How to Purge…” post was the most clear-cut, non-judgmental, friendly and to-the-point article I have ever read, and I have read plenty. After a complete mental breakdown from trying to be the “bestest” supermom, single mom, daughter-in-law, unit manager, classroom mom and more, plus the death of a wondering significant other, I became stuck in stuff and became isolated. It has been 26 years of being stuck. I did buy a scanner for the computer, planning to make my own scrapbooking pages by scanning and sizing many of the school papers for my kids I saved, both good and bad, report card comments of all kinds, because I do not feeling saving only the “best of” is a healthy depiction of any child or person, like failing is a terrible thing instead of a learning experience. By sizing them I can put several on one page. I can save the originals on a disk that can be easily stored, easily viewed. My problem is letting go of or accepting that the possessions of loved ones who have died will not bring them back to life. I feel like letting go of their simplest possessions is some sort of betrayal to the deep loss I continue to feel. I have paid a great cost for this, yet feel as though it is a cost I gladly pay to stay surrounded by the most love and happiest times of my life. (I left home at fourteen and lived on the streets for two years. I was abused…) I need someone to help me do this gently, but have no money to pay anyone. It has been too much of an emotional toll for my children or friends to help. I feel I am really ready to do this, but I cannot do it alone. So, again, I am stuck. So now what?
Hi Susie – Thank you for taking the time to share your heart breaking story. I know it’s hard to let go of the emotional attachment to items. Just remember that your health and happiness and well-being is more important than “stuff.” Maybe contact a local church or mission… they probably have volunteers who will work with you to purge, they can take the donations, you don’t have to pay anyone, and you can feel good knowing that your beloved item is being used for something good. Blessings to you my friend. Hugs, Holly
I love to organize everything… except the sentimental things. I created an “Emergency Binder” that organizes all of my insurance items and medical information. It is free online on this website. Most people charge for this, I just want to help people too. Please share this (the link is at the bottom of the website).
I have a desk that was I. My daughters room. At one of her birthday parties all the kids wrote messages to her on the top and underneath. I want to get rid of the desk but don’t want to get rid of the memories, any suggestions?
Hi Peggy – Thank you for stopping by to share such a sweet story. Can you repurpose it into something else? Maybe a vanity for her makeup and girl stuff? Or break apart the piece/s that have the messages and use it as a pin board for messages? Hope this helps and hope to see you again soon! Hugs, Holly