I can recover from a lot of wrongs, but betrayal is the most difficult for me to understand. It’s personal. It’s vindictive. Today, we are reflecting on betrayal, what it means, where it comes from, and how to recover. What are your thoughts and experiences?
Betrayal is difficult for me to process, and extremely difficult for me to recover from. I’m not the kind of person who can simply “turn it off.” I take it very personally. It’s broken trust. I’m one of those people who gives 110% effort in every situation. Whether it’s a relationship or a project or work situation, if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right. If I do everything in my power to do right by you, I expect you to do right by me in return. It’s simply the way decent humans should act.
Betrayal will ruin a relationship. How do you build that trust back? Betrayal will stab you in the back. What did you do wrong? What did you do to deserve this kind of treatment? There are no answers. Betrayal stings. Betrayal is a broken promise, a turned back, broken trust, infidelity. Betrayal hurts the most.
Between dealing with my own issues, and also talking to some dear friends about theirs, betrayal seemed to be on my mind lately. I decided to take a step back and just observe instead of reacting. I became curious about betrayal and wanted to learn more about how it operates, which was easier to do when I wasn’t emotionally invested. By opening my mind to wanting to learn about betrayal, I think I sent a message out to the universe.
What Betrayal Can Teach You
During my meditation that morning, the theme was around shared experience. Emotions are a shared experience. It helped me to understand that betrayal is a shared experience. It’s not personal. It just happens.
My morning meditation leads directly to my daily Bible devotion. The Old Testament devotion was on the Exodus and how Pharaoh promised to let the Israelites go, but went back on his promises, prompting each of the plagues. Moses was betrayed. Just as I’m smiling at the irony of these topics, next up is the New Testament. Wait for it. You guessed it. Judas. As a Christian, and especially during the Lenten Season, I listened intently to how one of Jesus’s disciples betrayed him. If Judas can betray Jesus, the Son of God, then who am I to think I am exempt from this kind of human behavior? Arguably the most famous betrayal in world history, Jesus still forgave Judas.
I became even more curious and learned there is a similar story of betrayal in the Buddhist religion. When Devadatta betrayed Buddha several times, Buddha did not show any hatred to him. Finally, Devadatta came to his senses and went to Buddha to ask for forgiveness, but on his way, the earth sucked him into hell. #karma
Steps to Recover From Betrayal
I don’t think I will ever not feel the sting from betrayal, but going through this exercise and learning more about betrayal really helped me to put it into perspective. These are similar steps you can do to help you heal:
Understand it’s a shared experience. It’s not you. It’s humankind.
Observe from a distance. Watch the actions as a bystander instead of a victim. It helps you to see the situation a little less emotionally.
Get it out. Write down your feelings in a Gratitude Journal. Write down your thoughts, or write a letter that you will never send.
Forgive. Find a good place in your heart, and honestly forgive the person who betrayed you. Pray for them or send good thoughts their way. Do this every single day. It’s difficult but not impossible. Trust me, it works.
Move on. Trust and love those who you can count on.
Fill yourself with goodness. Whether it’s prayer or meditation or singing your favorite songs, do something to nurture your spirit and fill your soul with happiness.
Love unconditionally. You are in control of your emotions. You are in control of how you treat others. Be the good and the light in the world for all to see.
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Love, hugs, and one man betrayed… with a kiss.HERE.