We had already been shopping for rings when I noticed a small lump on my right breast one summer morning. Neither was a surprise, but in 48 hours time, those 8 words, “you have breast cancer,” and “will you marry me?” changed my life forever.
Carter proposed 2 days after I was diagnosed. (our engagement picture.)
Most newly engaged women jump right into wedding planning. After all, who hasn’t been keeping a three inch binder/idea book of wedding dresses and ideas since we were 6 years old! This binder, however, was filled with test results, blood work, and treatment options.
Most newly engaged women shop for a wedding dress. I shopped for a wig since I would be bald on my wedding day.
Most newly engaged women research honeymoon destinations. I researched mastectomy options, surgeons, oncologists, and hospitals.
Most newly engaged women pour over details like if their invitations should be white, cream, ivory, or ecru. I poured over Oncotype and BRACA tests.
Our lives were complicated even further trying to plan for the wedding because we only had a 1-2 month window in between when my treatment ended and when Carter deployed to Afghanistan. (I know… I know… some people like to collect coins or stamps… we were collecting major life events!)
Our wedding was small – just us, his son, my parents and his mother along with the JP. We paid the $30.00 and called it a day. I was sick and bald but it was still a very special day for us.
Instead of a traditional wedding reception, the six of us went to dinner the night before.
We toasted.
And we enjoyed a little “wedding cake.”
Instead of a traditional wedding reception with lots of songs and dancing, we put a traditional wedding song playlist on the iPod and listened to it in the car as the three of us drove to the “Familymoon.”
And instead of a traditional lovey-dovey honeymoon, my new Husband and Stepson and I took a long weekend to the Great Wolf Lodge indoor water park.
It certainly wasn’t the wedding most girls dream of. But instead of spending nine months pouring over meticulous details of a wedding day, I learned about real love. My boys stood by me every step of the way.
Those 8 words changed my life. And I’ll never look back.
Psst… want to learn some easy cancer prevention strategies? Click below…
Follow Holly’s year-long journey from diagnosis and engagement to being sick and bald on her wedding day. This is Holly’s story as she battles breast cancer and struggles with overcoming the subsequent self-esteem issues. The writing is raw – you will get an uncensored view of breast cancer treatment and what it’s really like. She uses humor and laughter to redefine beauty as she loses part of her breast, all of her hair, and is launched into early menopause. With pop culture references and her quirky sense of humor, Holly’s heartwarming story of love and strength is encouragement for all women going through cancer treatment. A percentage of sales will go to Holly’s favorite breast cancer charities. Purchase HERE.
Are you Inspired?
Be sure to download your FREE eBook 5 Cancer Prevention Strategies for Cancer Survivors!
Love, hugs, and the journey continues.
Wow Holly, I really don’t quite know what to say except that is an incredible story and you are wonderful to open up and share it~your husband is one amazing man, and his son too. I am crying and not sure if they are tears of joy or sadness for what you went through, probably a little of both, and it is obvious that your spirit and love of life is what brought you through your ordeal. I will never forget your words today~Your book will bring inspiration and hope to so many~
Jenna
Hi Jenna – Thank you for your sweet words and now you just gave me a little tear. The whole journey has been surreal and it’s comforting to know how many people out there like you are supporting breast cancer survivors. It’s a bit daunting to put it all out there but hopefully it will inspire and help someone else who unfortunately has to go through this too. Hugs, Holly
Holly – you are such a testimony of strength, endurance, love, and faith. God bless you for that! Since my recent scare (which isn’t quite over yet), I have learned so much, not only about myself, but about who I surround myself with. The friends I’ve made through blogging and on FB – even though I’ve never met most of them face to face – have been a solid foundation for me to stand on and gain strength. They share their stories like you, and they have embraced me with love and encouragement. Thank you for being you, sweetie. I will be praying for a speedy recovery and complete and total health for you! ♥
xoox laurie
Hi Laurie – We are all sisters in this and I’m so glad we’ve been able to connect. Please keep me posted with your situation and big prayers for everything to be just fine. You are in God’s hands and He will never fail you. Thank you for your kind words but honestly, I’m just me trying to make it through each day just like everyone else. Big hugs and prayers. Holly
aww.. such a nice post.. stay happy dear friend 🙂
Hi Khadija – Thanks for all of your support and for stopping by. I was so touched by your pink ribbon necklace post and I think mostly because it hits home that we are ALL sisters in this fight. BC does not discriminate against cultures or religions or races – we are all touched by this horrible disease. Peace be unto you and your family. Hugs, Holly
Good morning Holly! Thank you for sharing your incredible journey/book at our Monday Inspiration party. I love the cover my dear, you did a fabulous job. I’m going to share your photo & link on my FB page this am in a couple minutes. I feel your story will help others feel they are not alone which will give them strength in time of weakness. I pray for your health & I am honored to have met you and your husband. God bless you both! ~ Julie
Hello my red headed sister from a different mother and father! 🙂 Thank you for the referral, I was extremely pleased with the result. And thanks so much for your support and kind words. Hugs, Holly
It did very well on FB Holly! I don’t think you are on there, so I wanted you to know! XO
Hi Julie – Awwwwww…. Thanks so much! You’re the best! Hugs, Holly
Hi Holly!
thanks for sharing your story: a story of love and strenght. I’ll pray for you, your husband and stepson. be brave, you’re not alone! Chiara (from italy)
Saluti Chiara! Thank you so much for stopping by from across the big pond. Grazie mille e ciao! Abbracci, Holly
Thanks for inviting me to post in your link party, Holly. Not because I get to share my pink pumpkin with everyone, but because you’ve introduced me to your blog. I just finished reading this post, and have tears in my eyes. I was diagnosed with invasive cervical cancer when I was only 24 years old. I’m still here, age 47! (And thrilled that young girls today can get a vaccine that helps prevent certain forms of HPV, which was only a theory floating around the medical world back when I was diagnosed. Research and treatment have come so far since then!) Thanks for sharing your story, and reminding us that life somehow seems to go on even when we’d like to hit the pause button sometimes! And congratulations on where you are now on your journey!
Hi Laura – 24… wow. I’m also very grateful for the organizations they have for young people fighting cancer. To be just starting out in your adult life with the whole world ahead of you and then kapowie. Blessings for all of those years of survivorship for you and blessings to your family. Hugs, HOlly
You are incredible. And sharing your story, I have no doubt, will help SO MANY others! {{{HUGS!}}}
Awwww Stacy you are so sweet. Did you have a piece of pizza in NYC for me? Who cares about cancer… I want to live vicariously though the most perfect pizza in the world and that grease dripping down your arm! 🙂 Hugs, Holly
Wow, what a story! I am so glad that the ending is SO happy! You guys are a beautiful couple. I love that you are so open about your story and use it to encourage and inspire others. Thank you, Holly!
~Abby =)
Hi Abby – As you well know, it’s tough to take a very private struggle very public. But here’s the deal with BC… our warrior sisters before us did what they had to do to make it better for my generation and it’s “our” (my generation’s) duty to do what we can for YOU… young, beautiful, talented 20-somethings like you who are at the beginning of their adult life and facing so many wonderful things that life has to offer… and also unfortunately BC scares and treatment options and decisions. And until there is a day when “you” won’t have to face this, I’ll be doing everything I can for the young ladies following in my path. And to let you know that you don’t have to treat this like our grandmother’s disease. And you’re not alone. And you have options. And you can laugh. And you can get through this. Please keep me posted with your decision (I subscribed to your blog so I’m sure I’ll hear in one way or another). You have a good head on your shoulders and the support of a loving family and I know you will make the right decision. Whatever that is. Prayers and blessings to you and your family. Hugs, Holly
I love that you are so willing to share your story with others. Gone is the day where people didn’t talk about it. My brother has always been willing to talk about what was going on with his cancer treatments and indeed, he WANTED to talk about it. He is in remission now.
I have a friend who has bc and she has not told ANYONE outside her family except my husband and I. She wants to keep it private, as she is afraid if she tells people that they will somehow up her fear factor by asking her how she’s doing. She doesn’t want anyone to ask her that.
I respect her decision but feel that she is missing out on a lot of support if she would only let people know. They just know that she’s missed church and they assume she’s either sick or working on that day.
Hi Nan, Thank you for sharing. I really do want my message to break that old school idea of BC having to be very private. I know I can be a little unconventional at times and my book definitely put it ALL out there. I totally respect anyone’s decision to be public or private or anywhere in between, but at the end of the day, I want to be a voice that says you don’t have to treat BC the way it used to be treated. Especially with a younger generation who is facing not only the disease but also extremely tough choices. We’re all sisters in this together. Hugs, Holly
Holly, I really love your love story. What a wonderful man you married and getting a loving son in the bargain. I commend you for your courage and for the steps you have taken to get where you are. As an ‘older’ woman, I don’t know if I would have the courage that you have if this were to happen to me. I have seen it first hand from another young woman, my daughter. I remember too well how she sat on the edge of her bed with her 9 year old son on her lap, getting those 4 horrible and scary words from the doctor. She has faced up to what was given to her and she and I just completed the 10th annual Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in San Francisco She walked right after she completed surgery and radiation and I did the Crew and now she is 10 years a survivor and I am so proud of her. I’m so very proud of you too..Happy Monday..Judy.
Hi Judy, Thank you so much for sharing your daughter’s story and many congratulations and blessings on her 10 year survivorship. A lot has changed in terms of treatment and detection and genetic tests in the last 10 years, and it’s because brave strong women like your daughter fought this battle. It’s because of your daughter’s battle that they now have drugs to give during chemo, and I never threw up once. Please give her an extra big hug from me. Hugs, Holly
What a beautiful story and you are one blessed lady to have experienced such love from your man, along with the bad news! I’m sure you would have never imagined they would go together hand in hand one day….and yet, everything is the way it should be and the way our Lord wanted it for you.
Wishing you both the happiness in the world and many blessings. Thank you for sharing. Your book sounds amazing!
FABBY
Hi Fabby – Thank you for your kind words and after all of the boo hoo crocodile tears, it was comforting when I came to a place where I knew this was God’s plan for me. It was still a very rocky road, but resting in Him makes it much easier. It’s my first book, so not sure about “amazing” – maybe “above average”? 🙂 Hugs, Holly
That sounds like the most wonderful wedding I have ever heard of…filled with real love and the people you truly care about~ when it really comes down to it, that’s all the matters! Your attitude is wonderfully upbeat and infectious.
Hi Kim, That day was the culmination of a very rough year and a symbol of making it through. Thank you for your sweet words. Hugs, Holly
Two amazing people. What an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story and giving hope to so many.
Hi Patti – Thanks so much! Hugs, Holly
You are totally amazing and so is your husband. Such a fabulous post. Thanks tons for linking to Inspire Me. Hugs, Marty
Hi Marty – Thank you for your kind words. Hugs, Holly
What a beautiful testimony to the important things in life. Love, family and faith. Sorry you didn’t have the luxury of time to plan and have the wedding of your dreams , but so glad you have the man or men of your dreams. Thank you for sharing.
Hi Anna – Thank you for your kind words and stopping by. So very true. Hugs, Holly
Love your story. October is National Breast Cancer Awareness month. Before this year, I’d only tolerated the waves of pink that show up this time of year. But this year, it’s personal. Thank you for stepping out to share your story. What a blessing to have someone so strong standing at your side to walk with you through your journey. Prayers for continued healing.
~Taylor-Made Ranch~
Wolfe City, Texas
Hi Taylor-Made Ranch – Thank you for sharing a glimpse into what this month means to you. Blessings to you. Hugs, Holly
My dear Holly. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us all. I’ve been putting off scheduling a mammogram for a few years now. Your post really opened my eyes. I’m so glad you have such loving and supportive husband by your side. Take care.
Hi Brandi – GO! Seriously. Pick up the phone today. Call and schedule the appointment. And go. Do not wait. Go. You can do it. Big hugs, Holly
Your story is very beautiful and touching. Thanks for sharing it with us and for linking up at the Making Monday link party. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Hi Lori, Thank you for your kind words. Blessings to you and yours. Hugs, Holly
Holly, You are one strong lady and an inspiration to many others. What a blessing to have such a supporting husband. I wish both of you many, many years of happy times together.
xx,
Sherry
HI Sherry – Thank you so much for your sweet words. Hugs, Holly
Holly, you and your husband are amazing and wonderful. Thanks for sharing your story for all of us to read. Because of your bravery in telling it many ladies, who have been too afraid to have that check up and mammogram will likely do so! My mother wasn’t afraid, but she had never had a mammogram until she found a lump…her doctor had never ordered one for her. Sharing this mainly so that those in their later years understand that they should find a new doctor if their doctor isn’t prescribing that all important test. It is not painful as so many believe it is. My yearly mammogram is always on Halloween, unless Halloween is on the weekend. Then it’s on the Friday before or the Monday after.
Holly, thanks to you and your husband for sharing your story and for his service to our country.
Hugs,
Helen
Hi Helen – Thank you for sharing and for your kind words, they really mean a lot. And I’m glad to hear you have a tradition of going for your mammogram. They have new 3D imaging mammogram machines which can see a lot more. I had to pay a little extra because insurance wouldn’t cover it all, but it’s worth it. We’re all in this together. Hugs, Holly
Such a beautiful story with a happy ending and may you live “Happily Ever After!”
Hugs,
JP
Hi JP – Thank you for your sweet sentiment. Hugs, Holly
My husband underwent a life saving operation 2 years back when his right kidney had a tumor the size of a palm. The cancer did not spread anywhere except his entire kidney had to be surgically removed. This surgery was an open one ~ not by laproscopy. For 6 weeks we struggled in the hospital and I juggled between my husbands hospital and my three sons aged 10, 8 and 7 becoz we were in different cities of UAE. My husband has recovered since but even now when we visit the doctor for our bi-annual MRI ~ I am a total mess before and after the tests. Living and surviving cancer is really a nightmare. It has made me realize just how precious each and everyday I have with my husband is. I “try” not to take ANY day for granted.
I pray you recover. I pray that your marriage brings strength and contentment that you need. I pray that Allah swt (I am a muslim woman) gives you patience and the power to conquer your chaos and apprehensions. Ameen.
I will continue to pray for you Holly. You made a beautiful bride and you are so blessed to have a sincere life companion. That’s all that should matter. Not the dress ~ bouquet ~ etc etc.
Blessings
Naush
Dubai
Hi Naush – Thank you for sharing such a personal story about your husband and for your kind words. I’m glad to hear that he has recovered and you are right, going through this kind of experience does change your outlook on life to remember that each day is a blessing and extremely precious. Thank you for your prayers of comfort and strength. My prayers and blessings will go back to you and your family.
Peace be unto you and your family.
Hugs, Holly
Wonderfully written – you are quite blessed – you really touched my heart as I read this. I am delighted that you shared with Home and Garden Thursday,
Kathy
Hi Kathy – Thank you so much for your kind words. Hugs, Holly
Hi, I just popped over here via BlogHer. Thank you for sharing your story and a little glimpse into your life. Hope it’s not too off of me to say, you really did luck out in the husband department! He is quite handsome 🙂 (and he obviously loves you tons, which is what is most important)
Hi Kelly – Thanks so much for visiting and yes… he is a keeper. Hugs, Holly
Thank you so much for sharing your story with us at our “Best Of The Weekend” party. Just amazing and I am really humbled by how brave you are and that you shared your story with everyone. This post is being the top feature and will be seen across all three of our blogs when the party goes live at 8PM EST tonight.
I can only wish you the best of luck in your battle and say prayers for healing and also for peace and rest. xoxo
HI Claire – Thank you so much for your kind words and support for raising awareness. I truly am humbled and honored at the feature. Hugs, Holly
What a beautiful story of true love indeed. What a brave and strong, and not to mention beautiful lady you are! You looked beautiful on your wedding day and actually look really great bald too! Not too many people can pull that off, but with your face and vibrant smile, you sure can. I hope you are doing well now and enjoying being a newlywed!~ XO
Hi Debbie – Thanks so much for stopping by and for your kind words. Very much appreciated. Hugs, Holly
Hi Holly, I just want to say how much I love your blog. I only found it tonight and I have been here for a while now catching up with your posts. Your positivity flows from your words, and actually I was worried that this part of your blog would be upsetting, but your attitude has made me feel up not down, and I’m sure any women with BC out there will be very uplifted by your words.
Angela xxx
such an amazing post thanks so much for sharing im so touched to read your loving story
Hi Arod – Thank you for your sweet words. I’m blessed to have this opportunity and voice to give inspiration to others. Hugs, Holly
bravo! hugs, M & K
Hi Kristina & Millie – Thank you, very kind. Hugs, Holly
I came here by coincidence from a link up but i got really speechless by the beauty of this story. The love and the resilience you have. wow. May you always be blessed.
Marwa
Hi Marwa – So glad to have you visit and thank you for your kind words. Hugs, Holly
It’s not where, when, what you wear, how much you spend. It is who you are with and the love in the room. Bravo, congratulations, it was beautiful, thanks for sharing…. Stopping by from Turn It ON Tuesday Link up….
Hi Ray – You are so kind, thank you for your sweet words. Hugs, Holly
What a beautiful and an amazing story you shared. It really is great that your boys stuck with you and that you learned what true love is.
Hi Ana – Thank you so much for stopping by to say hello and sharing your sweet comments! Hope to see you again soon. Hugs, Holly
What a wonderful and very touching story! That is true love if there ever was!.
Hi Sondra – Thank you for your sweet words! Hugs, Holly
Survivor! Love how you celebrated your special day – your strength and support is worth all the flowers and dj’s in the world. Beautiful!
Hi Jen – Thanks for stopping by, it’s been one heck of a journey! Hugs, Holly
So many women grow up with these fantasies of their perfect wedding day but miss the meaning of the marriage ceremony. It isn’t about the dress, the colors, etc.–it’s about making a public commitment to your relationship–to love, honor, cherish–to keep it sacred. And you got to experience this. You didn’t exactly have a choice about it, but it’s lovely how it turned out. What a wonderful way to start out your marriage–not on the pretense of a fairy tale, but on what’s real for you. Your love. By the way, you look beautiful bald!
Hi Nicole – You are such a sweetheart, thank you! And you couldn’t have said it more eloquently. You are right about experiencing what the real meaning of marriage is about, whether we wanted to or not. It’s all in how you look at life. Hope to see you again soon! Hugs, Holly
That is a beautiful story and looks like you had a beautiful day… It is wonderful the inspiration you give others… I will pass on your site to others who need hope and help. 🙂
Hi Meeghan – Thank you so much for visiting! And yes, please pass along. My email is on the website if anyone ever needs to contact me personally. Hugs, Holly
Hey, Holly! It’s Courtney from The Brown Girl with Long Hair! I commented on your blog for the first time a few days ago after being led here by way of a link-up we both participated in…
I have just four words for you: You. Are. An. Inspiration.
I’m so glad I’ve found your blog.
xo
(Stopping by from SITS. 🙂
Hi Courtney – You are too kind. But none of this would have happened without the BC so I still to this day consider it a gift from God and a blessing. Thanks again for stopping by! Hugs, Holly
Holly,
That is a wonderful, heart-warming story! You guys are all lucky to have each other. I think your wedding looked beautiful!
Hi Rabia – You are so sweet, thank you. Hugs, Holly
This is a beautiful post and it is so uplifting that in the face of cancer you didn’t stop moving forward, you didn’t slow down, you kept going full speed ahead. You and your family are beautiful!
Hi Rebecca – Your kind words are so encouraging, thank you! Hugs, Holly
Wow. What an inspirational post. Thank you for sharing.
Tonya
Hi Tonya – Thank you so much for stopping by to say hello. Hope to see you again soon. Hugs, Holly
You obviously found a wonderful husband in Carter. I wish you both a long and happy marriage. What a sweet wedding story, thank you for sharing!
Hi Nikki – Thank you for stopping by and for your sweet comments. Hugs, Holly
Holly,
So glad you added this to the ShareBank. It’s so fun to have a chance to hear your story. Wow, you are a linkup machine, girl! How do you manage to submit to so many?
Hi Brittany – Link and share, it’s how I roll! Hugs, Holly
You lived the fairy tale, Holly, the one most “traditional” weddings lack…a brave and beautiful bride, one genuine prince charming, and true love.
Honored to be able to join in with you this week to raise awareness.
Much love.
Hi Marcia – You are way too kind, thank you. I don’t know about the fairy tale. No pumpkins and no glass slippers, just a normal family trying to make it through each day. Thanks so much for sharing. Hugs, Holly
Oh, Holly dear, the fairy tale is true love. I’m sure you know this by now.
Hugs
Lovely. This is inspiring to those battling cancer, but also single folks like me! Love it a powerful thing.
All the best to you.
Hi Kat – We can’t control what life hands to us, but we can control how we react to it. Thanks so much for stopping by. Hugs, Holly
Thank you Holly for sharing your story of love and hope. Hugs to you 🙂
Thanks Limeade and hugs backatcha! Holly
You are such a blessing! I have 3 girlfriends undergoing breast cancer treatment and one undergoing testing for some anomalies. Your story is such an encouragement. Thank you for sharing a part of your life.
Hi Sandy – Prayers and blessings to your friends and please give them my best. Thank you for all of your support! Hugs, Holly
Such a sweet story..Hugs Holly! Thanks for linking up to Merry Monday! Pinned! Have a great week!
Kim
Hi Kim – You are always such a sweetheart, thank you for sharing! Hugs, Holly